the songs will come

these are some words about songwriting.

i'm at home with my mom dad and sister right now.  they're all asleep, but i was fortunate enough to be able to spend the day with them all.  going home for a few days, for me, is like hitting a reset button on my life, or changing the guitar strings in my head, after they're really old and have been played by lots of well-meaning-but-sticky-handed jamming buddies.  my soul always feels so healthy when i'm around these people.  unconditional love does that, i think.. 

tonight i sat down to write a song and nothing came out.

*an aside about my own songwriting process:

[i've never been able to just decide to write a song.  like "oh hey, i think i'll write a song today."  it just never works for me.  its funny, i look back at the songs that i've written, songs that i play out and that i've recorded, and i'm honestly in awe, like "i don't remember writing that", or "how did i think of that?"  i think that's because i didn't write these songs– and i certainly didn't try to write them. 

instead, its like there's this creative energy that can come through people sometimes.  and when my head is in the right place and when i have something on my heart that needs to be let out, then i can connect with that energy and it comes out as music.  or at least thats how it feels.]

so tonight, as i was having trouble, not feeling right about this song that i was trying to write, i asked myself an important question: why do you want to write this song? 

i had to lie down, look inside and really be honest with myself. 

tonight i wanted to write a song out of fear, to assure my own fearful mind that i could still do it–that i could still write songs that i'd enjoy performing; or worse, that i could still write songs that people would like to listen to.



wow!  i'm so happy to have realized this less-than-veritable reason to write a song!  fear is so often the method with which we get in our own way, and by becoming aware of this unconscious fear, i have set myself free of its effects.  i feel so positive about making music right now!  i won't write songs out of fear or feel pressured to do so.  instead, the songs that i will write will be from someplace real. 

and the songs will come when they are supposed to.  :)